selfmotivations | [ somarium ] voicemail

Maybe not.

[but he can't help thinking that if he'd just pushed her harder when he'd first learned about her condition, maybe they could have 'won.' Or at least had a better outcome than this. ]

I'll manage. [...]

I'm just not really sure what to do now... Since death doesn't work normally here.

[somehow he's not surprised that Jude is taking this harder than he is. but Jude also had more involvement than he did.]

If the whole "returning back to life" is true, then burying her would probably be the worst thing to do.

[and as if on cue, they're at the morgue.]

As weird as it sounds, I guess just preserving her body somehow and keeping a watch is the only thing you can do.

[Jude makes it his job to help others, so when it doesn't work... it's not always easy to bounce back. But he's trying.]

It does sound pretty weird. Are people supposed to just... wake up again?

No idea. You could try asking someone about it. Like the god of death himself.

Speaking of which, I have no idea who all Naomi told about her condition, but there are probably a few folks who should probably know about this.

Do you think we should make an announcement?
[Normally the answer would be obvious, but Naomi is so private that she might not appreciate the whole town knowing she was sick and passed away. Then again, Jude is still upset that she hid her illness for so long, so maybe it would be good to have her other friends know the situation.]

[he's silent for a moment, mulling over it.]

Not a public one. [it's a pretty weird concept but people already announced when people left Somarium, and that was similar to announcing someone was dead.] There's not that many people she associated with, so could probably just tell the ones who did know her.

That's a good idea, but I don't really know who she's close with besides us.

[She really doesn't talk about herself. She had a few visitors, though, so he could start there...]

Well we know she worked with Death the Kid, so there's one. We got ourselves covered, so that's three. [....uuuuh.] I could try and check her Dreamberry. See if there any messages from anyone.

All right. I put her things back in her office.

[just waiting for her to return for them.

Anyway, Jude pushes open the morgue door and walks inside, then towards the back. It's still and cool inside, an atmosphere befitting the location.]

[he doesn't respond, just silently following behind Jude. this is admittedly disconcerting. he had never really been down into a morgue before and honestly he never really wanted to.]

She's back here.

[He moves to the bank of cold storage units at the far side of the room. One of them has a light on, showing it's in use, but Jude doesn't open it. He'll let Alvin decide.]

[he stands in front of it for a moment. he only visited his mother's grave after she was buried and he never found Presa's body. this would be the first woman in his life where he could actually see her after death.

he...honestly wasn't sure how to feel about it. perhaps he should feel a little comforted that he does feel something rather than nothing at all.

so after another moment and a deep intake of breath, he nods.]

Let's see her.

[Jude's seen plenty of dead bodies, both at school and on battlefields, but like Alvin, he hadn't had to face the body of someone he knew well before. Milla hadn't left anything behind, before she returned to them. He's not sure if a body would have helped him back then or just made it hurt more.

Either way though, at Alvin's statement Jude opens the cabinet for him, then steps aside so Alvin can have some space.]

[seeing Naomi's body just being pulled out like something from a display drawer was...more than disconcerting. it seemed inhuman. this whole thing just seemed surreal. there she is, just lying there paler than death and looking so... frail. he could see how much the illness had taken its toll on her. and yet despite what he sees, in his mind he can hear her voice. already lecturing him for just standing there doing nothing. he can see that almost haughty yet attractive face concentrated on whatever research she was on. see how despite her weaknesses and faults, she had still been a determined, strong, hard headed woman.

for a moment his hand lifted, but rather than going to her it just went to the cabinet's handle and he pushes it closed. whatever expression he has is half hidden by the collar of his coat, his face turned toward the rest of the closed cabinet doors.

he doesn't know what he feels. it's not the relief mixed with grief that he felt when his mother died. it's not the pang of regret when Presa tumbled down the cliff. it's not some sudden big hole for someone he may or may not have really cared about. it's not a shallow feeling for a stranger. it's complicated. and it's certainly more than he expected.]

I'm going to go look in her office.

[that's all he says and he's already stepping away.]

[Alvin is very good at making himself unreadable, but Jude's come to understand him a little better with the amount of time they've spent together and the things they've been through. That means the silence is very telling. Jude quickly makes sure the cabinet is set properly before following behind him.]

Can I come along?

[He's giving him the option, in case he wants to be alone. But Jude doesn't really think he should be.]

[he really does consider pushing the kid away—metaphorically, of course—but instead he says:]

Might as well.

[that came out a little colder than he intended. but he does have the feeling that Jude would check on him or something.]

[Jude would. And it's also wishful thinking to think that a little tone change like that would deter him, either.

But he doesn't say anything more, though, and just falls into step beside Alvin until they reach the office.]

[and continuing with that silence, he moves to where her stuff is set and immediately goes through the Dreamberry. it's kind of weird doing this. he bets if they had devices like these back in Rieze Maxia he'd probably be gathering information just like this, too. but when people left Somarium, the Dreamberries disappearing. having it still here despite her being dead is both comforting and confusing. but he did feel a bit guilty invading her privacy like this, and he made a mental note to apologize when she came back to life.

...yeah, that's still a strange notion and he's honestly not sure how to wrap his head around it.]

[It's not like they don't have prior experience with dead people returning to life (sort of)... but expecting it and having to wait is new.

Jude takes a chair to wait until Alvin's finished looking through the dreamberry. When it looks like he's finishing, he finally speaks up.] Did you find anything?

Not much more than I already expected. She only really contacted us, Kid, and Tali.

[Well, people he knows at least. That makes this a little easier.]

Then we should let them know. I meant to respond to Kid's message on the network earlier, so I can tell him.

Guess I'll get Tali then.

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