[ somarium ] voicemail

[selfmotivations]

Hey, it's Alvin. Just leave a message and I'll get right back to you.

[ooc: Just label any IC/OOC stuff in the subect line o/]

Comments

[healinguilt]

Those are the two things that mattered most to me. [ A silent, calm look. ]

And I failed.

[ So stoically does she say this that it's obvious she believes it as truth. Her "mad scientist" part of her, as it were, isn't some person cackling behind a scalpel. It's a harsh, systemic side that leaves little room for more brash emotions to cloud the precision exacted with a surgeon's hands. ]

[selfmotivations]

[just a blank look.]

So nothing we talked about before, nothing we—[he just stops. before she died, in those last month, weeks, days—she had started to act less like that cold scientist and more...human? warmer. but now it's like a complete reversal. and maybe he should have expected something like this. because, what, was he secretly hoping that she might have changed and actually learned to appreciate her life more? was he even hoping for anything?

but even if not, to basically hear her say that nothing that happened in her life, with or without him, really struck something. at first it looks like he would say more but instead he just shakes his head.]

You know what, forget it. If you think that everything has been a waste, then I guess I wasted my time, too.

[healinguilt]

[ There's something in the back of her mind that wants to shout out and say that that's not all true-- it wasn't all a waste with him, either.

But that part of her is quiet, perhaps having died along with her a week ago and still hasn't revived. Perhaps overwhelmed by the thought that he didn't help at all because he didn't contribute to her cause, couldn't be used to obtain her goals, or was only a distraction. That's why she can say in that same tone of voice: ]

No, you weren't helpful.

[ Now she's just putting salt on the wound. ]

[selfmotivations]

[wow. yeah, that was pretty much the last straw. so in an equally cold, mocking voice.]

Then congratulations. [he spreads out his arms and takes a step back.] I won't bother wasting either of our lives here on out.

[healinguilt]

[ Just pointing towards the door. ] Goodbye, Alvin.

[selfmotivations]

[he doesn't even give her a wave or any kind of response because he was already heading out the door before she responded. so yep, there he goes. with a bit of a slam, too.]